Romance And Feeling Understood:
If you are an effective man, you will always understand the people you are responsible for better than they understand you. They can never understand you as well as you do them, for they are dependants rather than peers, meaning the level of insight you require to manage them is not reciprocally required by them to be led by you.
That's why finding romantic completion in being understood is a feminine ideal. A man needs to understand a woman deeply enough to effectively govern her which is why women love men who make them feel understood, as it's not only bonding and gratifying to her, but serves as a signifier of competence that he can penetrate the depths of her mystery even better than she can.
Conversely, a woman does not require insight into a man's inner most workings - she need only understand him enough to serve him. Not even her sincerest and most heartfelt compassion requires an understanding of him, only a desire for him to be well. This is why a man expecting to be understood by a woman in the same nearly all encompassing way he can come to understand her is foolish, and should he deeply desire it will find nothing but disappointment and anguish, for he expects far in excess of what she is actually capable of.
Just as a parent governs their child and knows them better than their child knows them, the same is true of men and women. Not to the same degree and in exactly the same way, but with the same principle - the ideal man penetrates the woman's psyche and lived experience more than she penetrates his, aided in great part by her own solipsism which limits her understanding of both herself and him.
It is important for a couple to have similar social values, but beyond that, much of what makes him, him is largely a mystery to her, for she is not even all that self-aware and discerning in matters of herself, so how can you expect her to properly penetrate his metaphysics when she has such a poor grasp of her own?
This is also why the man who is a mystery and remains so not through deliberate obfuscation but through genuine complexity and competence is attractive to women. His impenetrable depth contrasts with her penetrable depth both physical and metaphorical - in failing to grasp him, she cannot conquer him, cementing his superiority and therefore worthiness to her mind. Just as in managing to grasp her, he demonstrates he can conquer her and is thereby worthy of her. Conversely, if she seems mysterious to him, then he lacks the capacity to govern her, which is less an indication of her complexity than it is his ignorance.
You see, women are not complicated, they are counterintuitive - meaning they are full of contradictions which cause confusion and misdirect, but once resolved and laid bare are very simple if not necessarily easy or pleasurable to manage.
A man who can never be fully grasped by his woman who is with a woman he grasps almost entirely is thus the winning combination, for women who have a fuller grasp of their man than vice versa will never know marital joy, for such inversion of the natural order can never permit it.
Men who seek to be understood must thus seek out other equally or more capable men, for such depth of understanding will not be found within a romantic context - the mere possibility of that privilege being the sole preserve of woman and woman alone - and often they don't even get it.
Mike
If you are an effective man, you will always understand the people you are responsible for better than they understand you. They can never understand you as well as you do them, for they are dependants rather than peers, meaning the level of insight you require to manage them is not reciprocally required by them to be led by you.
That's why finding romantic completion in being understood is a feminine ideal. A man needs to understand a woman deeply enough to effectively govern her which is why women love men who make them feel understood, as it's not only bonding and gratifying to her, but serves as a signifier of competence that he can penetrate the depths of her mystery even better than she can.
Conversely, a woman does not require insight into a man's inner most workings - she need only understand him enough to serve him. Not even her sincerest and most heartfelt compassion requires an understanding of him, only a desire for him to be well. This is why a man expecting to be understood by a woman in the same nearly all encompassing way he can come to understand her is foolish, and should he deeply desire it will find nothing but disappointment and anguish, for he expects far in excess of what she is actually capable of.
Just as a parent governs their child and knows them better than their child knows them, the same is true of men and women. Not to the same degree and in exactly the same way, but with the same principle - the ideal man penetrates the woman's psyche and lived experience more than she penetrates his, aided in great part by her own solipsism which limits her understanding of both herself and him.
It is important for a couple to have similar social values, but beyond that, much of what makes him, him is largely a mystery to her, for she is not even all that self-aware and discerning in matters of herself, so how can you expect her to properly penetrate his metaphysics when she has such a poor grasp of her own?
This is also why the man who is a mystery and remains so not through deliberate obfuscation but through genuine complexity and competence is attractive to women. His impenetrable depth contrasts with her penetrable depth both physical and metaphorical - in failing to grasp him, she cannot conquer him, cementing his superiority and therefore worthiness to her mind. Just as in managing to grasp her, he demonstrates he can conquer her and is thereby worthy of her. Conversely, if she seems mysterious to him, then he lacks the capacity to govern her, which is less an indication of her complexity than it is his ignorance.
You see, women are not complicated, they are counterintuitive - meaning they are full of contradictions which cause confusion and misdirect, but once resolved and laid bare are very simple if not necessarily easy or pleasurable to manage.
A man who can never be fully grasped by his woman who is with a woman he grasps almost entirely is thus the winning combination, for women who have a fuller grasp of their man than vice versa will never know marital joy, for such inversion of the natural order can never permit it.
Men who seek to be understood must thus seek out other equally or more capable men, for such depth of understanding will not be found within a romantic context - the mere possibility of that privilege being the sole preserve of woman and woman alone - and often they don't even get it.
Mike
